In Defence of: Moving Out

My hometown is an hour’s train ride from my University and yet I am paying rent every month to live down the road from my University. To some people, this might sound insane, especially considering London is one of the most expensive places in which to rent, but to me it made sense. I had tried living at home second year, having lived in student accommodation first year, but I found myself feeling more and more suffocated and the daily commute, which was often during rush hour, tired me out a lot more than I anticipated.

Do not get me wrong, I love my parents, but after a year of following my own rules, it was hard to move back into a house where I was expected to follow someone else’s rules. Whilst I did not have a curfew, I was expected to let my parents know where I was at all times and what time I expected to return home. I could drive so I maintained some independence, but I was reliant on my parents if I wanted a drink or two, whereas previously I would have used public transport or walked. It was also difficult to invite friends over because often my parents would also be home and we had to be mindful of that.

I missed out on the social aspect of University a lot. If I wanted to go out with my friends, I either had to stay at a friend’s house or be mindful of the time so I did not miss the last train home. I missed out on spontaneous meet-ups because of the time and effort it would take to get there. If I was not staying at someone’s house, I would have to carry around a heavy back with my laptop and University work in it, which meant staying mindful of the whereabouts of my bag the entire time.

I missed the freedom of being able to do my own shopping and cooking. I missed being able to pop into the supermarket on the way home from University to pick up supplies for the following day, along with a bar of chocolate just because I fancied it. At home because there were four of us, shopping required a car due to the long list of groceries and it became about what everyone wanted to eat rather than just you. Cooking was similar in that it was selfish to just make dinner for myself and I had to think about what everyone would enjoy.

However, it was not all plain sailing. I had to learn how to manage my money, including budgeting and finding ways to save money where I could. I had to learn to live with other people who were raised differently to me and did not have the same values. Lighting, heating and noise were often a topic of discussion. I had to learn how to motivate myself because my parents were no longer around to ensure I was doing my homework every night.

Overall, I do not regret moving out. I did what was best for me, even if some people do think I am crazy.

 

 

30 comments

  1. I didn’t live so close to college, but I was always glad I lived there rather than commute. I feel like it helps you make new friends & definitely helps you learn how to manage your own time & bills, etc. I think you made a great choice!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you! I definitely feel less crazy with all these supportive comments. I study with a lot of mature students who live at home and I definitely have to remember that I’m still an undergraduate who’s only 21. I have my whole life to live at home! xx

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  2. I really understand where you’re coming from – I moved out last year and I also only had an hours drive to uni – but that’s two hours out of my day I could spend doing something more worthwhile. It’s just more convinient this way. And I must say that living on my own was a challenge at first (and definitely an adjustment) but has definitely been educational. It forces you to grow up more and actually get some life experience. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I totally agree! My mum would tell me that I can do work on the train but the reality is that you’re probably squished in a corner and even if you’re not, you don’t feel like doing work. I definitely feel more mature having moved out and feel like my parents respect me more for having done so. xx

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  3. This was so interesting! I go home every weekend to work so I feel as though I am half way between moved out and not. I quite like being able to be a part of the spontaneous meet-ups but it also means I get to see my family when I’m not working! But I’m definitely glad that I moved out because of the freedom you get, and I don’t really think there is any other way to achieve that level of freedom any other way! Great post and I can’t wait to read more from you 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Love this Hannah 💕 I’ve had to live at home for my entire university career because in South Africa we don’t have much of a public transport system. It was really hard! Had to wake up at 5:30 to miss the morning traffic. I also found it was hard missing all the spontaneity. That being said, it’s been amazing having the support of my parents with such huge pressures from uni. My mum will always make me a sandwich for the days when she knows I’m busy haha. Hoping to move out next year when I can earn some money! Xxx

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    • There are definitely pros and cons to moving out – I miss having someone make food for me when I’m too lazy to do it myself but I also know that I will enjoy it more if I make it myself because of the effort that has gone into it – if that makes sense. Fingers crossed for you! I think everyone should move out in their 20s just to know that they can. xx

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  5. I definitely don’t think you’re crazy! I know loads of people who stayed at home and regretted it feeling they missed out on student life. You know what’s right for you and actually if you can I think moving out is a great idea as you learn so many new life skills 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • I hope you are able to move out soon. It’s a tough decision to make as it is so much more expensive than living at home but I think you do need that independence at some point. There are studies that say if you don’t move out by 30, you will never move out (apparently). x

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  6. I lived at the University hall during my first year as my University was a 5 hour drive from my home town. I totally understand what you mean about moving back home after having all that freedom. At the end of the day, it’s important to do what’s right for you x

    Liked by 1 person

  7. THIS! As you know I also did the same thing as you where I live close enough to travel in but have moved out and I totally agree with everything you said- especially in your last year its nice to have the full university experience and actually live out with friends 🙂 ALSO WE’RE GRADUATING IN A FEW MONTHS!! WHAT!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Shhh I’m trying to live in denial here ;P I like the fact my lease goes a little past graduation so I can enjoy London life as no longer a student (although with still an empty bank account haha) xx

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